"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever"
A man from al rashidieh he is 35 years old, he has 5 kids and he is so poor, he works in collectin scrap iron, while he collecting he found a bomb he tooks it and went back to his work shop trying to divide this bomb in to pieces to sale it, and he thought that this bomb don't contain explosive material, while he trying to treat it, it's blowup by him then he dead quickly
he is not blamable because he did that, because he tried to work to bring food for his 5 kids and everybody know that he can be hungry to let his kids eat.
This man is just an example about the bad situation here how people try to live by anyway.
You want to help, I want to help, we want to help, With respect to us we should start from our selves , our society, with respect to me if u want me to find how to help, i want to start to fight this society, the leaders ship Why they did that by the people, just what i can do to wrte, if i say the jail will wait me.
Later in his life Ghandi when he was asked whether he was a Hindu, he replied:
- "Yes I am. I am also a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist and a Jew."
That's mean we are under the authorities of humanity, I want all the world to listen to that words, just everybody think about that you will find how much we are closed to each others, but just the distance seperat us.
With respect to me, I want to leave the camp, lebanon although where ever i go i will still arefugee but to die standing like the tree better than to die in lowness.
HI My brave friend,
I know that i'm not sending sms or emails describing the situation, because really there are no words to say, with respect to me my grandmother dead and i loved her alot, and i'm now without a job neither library nor bakery all the gates now closed in my face and im waiting for a baby this month, all what i concentrate my thinking is to travelled abroad by any way if it's ilegal way, finally we are in a situation we can't continue to live here in a camp, all the people here depend on the fateh salaries and now it's the 9th month and they didn't pay us any thing.
The politics are playing by us we are their game, as much as i describe it's nothing many families didn't buy new dresses for thier children in the eid, i see youn men, old are crying, so i don't want my children to born in this situation, i worked with children and i see how much they are men and over their ages.
Where ever we go we will still refugees, all the gates of life are closed now, and the only solution to travel abroad for europe country that in my opinion will respect me at least as a human.
Really you was a great friend and heros during the war that u took a great position beside me and the children.
I hope for you a successfull year full of love and peace.
your friend Ashraf.
THIS is what could happen to you, going with yr wife to have fresh air and have ice-cream .
After few days of the ceasefire in Lebanon, between Lebanon and Israel, me, my wife, and Ashraf( my friend and his wife ) we went out the palestinan refugee camp, were we live in south in lebanon, after 33 days of stress ( 33 days of war ), to have ice cream and fresh air.
At each main gate of the camp there is a a checkpoint for the Lebanese Army, the same as in Gaza and Westbank, Israeli checkpoints making the life of the Palestinain Refugees more complicated and more miserable.
In Lebanon, all the Palestinan Refugee Camps are surrounded by the Lebanese Army, equiped by tanks and soldiers. They close all the ways into the camp, but they keep only one with a check point, that make the camp like very big prison.
They check us when we get in and out .
This makes our lives more complicated and spread out more hatred. Lack of justice, bad treatment, and using force with people rather the dialogue.
Anyway, in our way into the camp, coming back to our houses, the lebanese soldiers stop the car and they asked us for the ID, suddenly the accused me that I am whispering and refusing to give them the ID, that wasn't right, I knew there is something wil happen, they asked me to get out from the car, I did, only me. They took me few meters from the checkpoint away to an office for the Lebanese Army.
The first thing the officer asked me, why you are drunk ? ( I wasn`t drunk). Even to be drunk in lebanon is'nt drunk, its some thing regular. I said I am not drunk, they said yes I am drunk, they insist that I am drunk, I get angry, then I shout, I am not drunk , I am just with my wife and friends having fresh air .
Then they beat me and you can imagine every hing after 3 soldiers they satisfied their instinct, they showed their muscles . I'ts just to shoot Palestinan Refugee, he deserve it ( this what they said) .
My friend AShraf took my wife and his wife to the house and came back to me, waiting for me in his car out, they hit his car from the infront, that causes sligt damage, and they pushed him to get from the car pushing by F16 GUN .
ALL our fault is that we were changing the atmosphere of 33 days of intensive and destructive war by having ice cream .
Why they did this, this is my personal analysis, they beat us for no reason, but i have a reason, the reason, is that during the war while the israeli bombing the militay targets of the lebanese, the Lebanese Army around the palestyina refugee camp of Rashidieh , run awat , escaped like children who lost their ways and their mothers, like mice. THEY LOST OUR RESPECT because they didn't defend and resist, they want to tell us that we are here , they want to show off , for this they pist off us. Changing our lives into hell.
The contradiction in this story, is that I am social worker, I was supporting th displaced Lebanese especially their children with psycho-social programmes to help them to adapt during the war .
Ashraf was, every day, taking the risk by destributing the 1000 capages of bread to the Lebanese Army , the bread should be for the poor Palestinan Refugees, but we were sharing it with them and we are happy, it's really big risk for any car to move in the south, because the israeli army threat they will hit any mobile vehichle. Ashraf was driving every day to give them the bread, we told them and they insist to insult us .
What kind of life this, what I am afraid about is that all our live action, will be reaction .
I say, we will go on, the strike that doesn't kill you , makes you stronger .The spirit is up , but I dont know how will long it will last like that.
There is always a chance of love and tolerance, but we are humanbeings ...............may be ...
This story happened with Ibrahim, he is a social worker in palestinian camps. He went to Syria to get Sweden's Visa to make workshop about clowns.... anyway let the words of him express.
Picture from art class in summer camp in Rashidieh
The story of Ibrahim:
They threat me, if I tell some body about this they could kill me, no but I will not shut up, I will say every thing, every thing. I will not stop writing and telling my story.
I just wasn’t aware about the time, I don’t know the people, many different scary faces, very dark room. small in meters , smelling shit, I was there, completely naked , they pushed me by force and by hitting to take off all my clothes, I don’t know why I am there, no one give me a reason, no one talked to me, no one told me where I am, I was really scary, afraid, confused, worried, trying to hide my naked body in that dark room .
Then after a while, somebody came with another guy, I stood up, I saw nothing just felt light when they opened the door of the room, light and fresh air, it could be the end of my situation, but without being alert, one of them caught my neck and started to push on my throat, I was resisting to breathe, to survive, then he dropped me to the floor, and then I vomit, I let every thing in my stomach out, I felt my soul escaping away, its very painful, I was crying, asking for people I love for my family, some body to help me, the other guy ordered me to eat back my vomit, I gestured by head that I cant, he kicked me and beat me, and then I yield , I ate my vomit. I wished to die before my hand arrive to my mouth, I wished to die after that, they laughed and left, they closed the door, and I pissed on my self unwillingly, no water to wash and no toilet in the room, I was swimming in the vomit and the urine, I felt I am shit, I am nothing, I hate my self, what makes me angry, is that I don’t know why, why that happening to me.
After a while, I don’t that while, which part of time, I wasn’t aware about my place and my time .
Two other people they took me to another room, 3 people were there, I still naked smelling shit, I realized that, all this is an introduction for something coming up ,
He ordered me to lay down on my stomach, he stepped on my back and head, and the investigation started
The questions were about my ID, my family, why I come to Syria, my answer was, I come to Syria to collect my visa, because no Swedish embassy in Lebanon, only one embassy for the two countries for this I have to come to Syria .
They accused me that I am working with the Syrian opposition, they accused me I am working with the anti Syrian government, outside and inside Syria, threaten the security of Syria, they accused me that I am working with the Americans, and I am human rights issues activist in Syria .
There only proves were:
I have American Visa on my Passport ( travel document for Palestinian refugees of Lebanon ),
I speak English language
And I know how to use internet.
They were asking me questions and make answers. the investigation took long time, while I was laying down under his feet naked, pushing me by his feet when I don’t answers as he want .
Among my stuff they found a post card ( greeting card) my friend send it to me in my birthday, on the other side of the greeting card there were a clown, they want to know what is the name of that clown, its just funny post card, they said he is one of them ?
The question was : where do we meet, what we discuss, what we decide, which way of communication do we use, what kinds of reports we write, in which country, what I have seen in USA and EU .
I have no answers to give, because I don’t know what they are talking about. its just rubbish .
They were writing things, they make questions and make answers that fit there questions.
All what I was thinking about in that moment, how to survive. my only answer is that iam in Syria to collect my visa to Sweden, because I have a big meeting about the children in hard situation.
My family in Syria paid a lot of money for people in high places, to release me.
I think u know now that they are the Syrian intelligence, they are not intelligent at all.
During whole my stay there I was without food no water, even the toilet, I was doing it in the room,
Once one of them came to me and he seemed very nice asking me if I want to shower, I said yes , he ordered me to shower my self by the URINE, vomit and the shit on the floor .
They were spitting on me while I am naked, their spit stick with my body,
Once I beg to drink water, they hit me with small piece of ice, it dropped on the floor, and it mixed with the urine, the vomit and the shit and ordered me to suck it and to drink.
I was scary and I still, I don’t feel safe at all, I feel they are behind me, because they said that they can catch me at any time
Who am I?
I am sorry not to mention details about the time, the place and the ID, I really don’t feel safe.
I am Palestinian refugee living in Lebanon, in the mid of the Twentieths. Living In a refugee camp, I was born there.
I do psycho-social programs for the children who suffer the exile, being refugee, difficult situations, and war …etc.
I use games as a therapy, I work with different local and international NGOs, i am active youth in my community towards the social change especially social justice.
I also work with children and the whole community.
For this I travel much to EU, AFRICA, U.S.A and some Arab countries.
They arrested me because I am active in my community, because I travel. I have the trust of the west.
When I travel, I travel to discuss the needs of the poor refugees, to expose and discuss my experience and to exchange wit others, to have training and make training.
But as i promised myself, I will not give up, I will continue, I believe in my work, all what I do, is helping the refugees for better life, to trust theirselves and there abilities, to draw a smile on their faces, I spread the values of forgiveness, love and tolerance .
They really hurt me, my dignity; I am full of anger and disappointment. My spirit still stronger.
Nothing good in my story, but they gave me more one reason to insist on my life aim, how to change the human suffer into human creativity. I still have enough love to give, they want to break me, but they will not.
I am sorry not to tell u every detail in this experience, simply because as human being I feel shy to say it. I keep it to my self, to cry it, to feel better. The question is there a place for forgiveness……………………may be.
I insist to Ibrahim to write this story to show for everybody how all the world looking at us and the arabian countries too. palestinian they should not work, express and help they should stay under the ground.
me too i start recieved threations from some people because of the blogg - but go on my friends, we want to express if something bad happened to me i will be proud of myself and of you.
(clowns without borders)
http://www.clownswithoutborders.org/http://www.clowns-sans-frontieres-france.org/index-ok.html
Tromsø, Norway
South Lebanon, afterwar
